This weekend, my 13-year-old son will undergo a bizarre form of anti-sex propaganda, in the form of a life size robotic baby doll, which will demand food, comfort, burping and diaper changes at irregular intervals throughout the day and night.
To me, this is maybe the stupidest stunt his school has ever pulled. I object for these reasons:
1. Money. the dolls cost $400 each. Is this why the schools can't afford to teach foreign languages?
2. Time. I would so, so, so prefer that Sean learn to find Zimbabwe on the map or how to solve quadratic equations or whether Russia was a member of the Axis powers rather than how to tend a plastic baby. But alas, so much to learn, so little time.
3. Weirdness. We essentially can't go anywhere this weekend, because Sean may be called upon, at any moment, to change the diaper on a plastic robot baby. Most people think this is kind of strange.
4. Message. What the program is trying to say is, "Don't have babies because they will ruin your life." And this is true for most eighth graders. However, a plastic baby is not anything like a real baby. It does not fall asleep beside you after it is finished nursing in the middle of the night. It does not grab your finger. It does not smile. It is not warm and beautiful. It will never become a person that you love more than anything else in the world. We do all these pain-in-the-ass things for babies because they are people, they are ours and we adore them. Are there no young mothers in Walpole who could use a few hours help with their babies from responsible eighth graders? Do we really need plastic dolls that have next to no resemblance to the actual deal?
Okay, done now. On to the music, a volatile collaboration between Jon Langford of the Mekons (and about ten other bands) and Kat, the drummer from the Ex.
Jon Langford and Kat Ex
US release date: 23 September 2008
UK release date: 6 October 2008
by Jennifer Kelly
Hey, you got your Mekons in my Ex... No, you got your Ex in my Mekons!
Jon Langford and Kat Ex, veterans of two of the longest-running punk bands in existence, team up for this scorching collaboration. KatJonBand is not as great as either the Mekons or the Ex at their peak, but it is fiercer, rawer, and more jittery than almost anything else passing for punk these days.